Want the Truth?

Living in New York has been very tough. I’ve moved around about five times between friends and family friends. I luckily haven’t had to spend much on stay due to the kindness and willingness of people opening up their homes, but it’s still been hard. I haven’t had my own place or space in three months, and everywhere I’ve been I kind of feel as though I’ve overstayed my welcome. Of course no one has told me to leave or been rude about it, I just honestly hate asking for help from people. That’s not who I am.

I’ve been struggling with money the whole time i’ve been here, and if it wasn’t for my parents, I would have been home after my first two weeks here.

It’s really hard and I’ve been stressed. Work hasn’t been all that I expected it to be. It’s been fun and interesting, but some days I come in without anything to do. I sit in my area, browse the internet, and hope that some tasks comes my way that will take longer than five minutes to complete. I love being busy, especially when I’m in an office for a certain amount of time.

I’ve had the worst breakouts of my life since i’ve been here. The stress of this city is no joke. With no “home” to feel comfortable in, enough money to erase the struggle of day to day living, and no real direction to go when I get home, my skin and body is not happy with me.

I know that’s not what most people want to hear, as I’ve also said previously that it has been a great adventure here. It has, but it’s not all glamorous

As much as I’ve had a love/hate relationship with New York City, I know that I’m leaving on Monday morning a changed girl prior to when I got here.

I’d like to think that I’ve found myself some. Although I still have no idea which direction is up once I get home, I know that I love this industry and that I want to work hard to stay in it. I’ve hopped around on my own, and had to make conversation with strangers and new friends. I’ve had to network within a new city, and I’ve had to survive three months on my own in a new place.

If you know me, you know that I’ve been close to home my entire life. Surrounded by friends and family, and never venturing far from what is comfortable to me.

I go home on Monday and will be faced with another new adventure of finding out where I fit when it comes to the Dallas world. As a new graduate, it’s time I find jobs to pay back debt and to further pursue my goals.

Along with that, I will be going home to a family member with health issues that I will be assisting and helping with. I strongly see that as a privilege as I know I owe my life to my family, but it will definitely be different and a new point in my life.

I thank New York for the last three months and the woman that it has helped me become. It has been one of the best and scariest summer’s of my life so far. And as scary as it was, I hope to come back some day. I know that if I can conquer this city for real, nothing can stand in my way.